I spent so much time believing all the lies to keep the dream alive

 I hate being able to recognize the signs but unable to change the outcome 

 Scratch that i hope he fucking rots fuck you and what you've done to me

 He was literally all i ever wanted in life

 fuck fuck fuck you

 I hate youuu vvvvhhj

 Hmm ooo maybe the reason i don't tell you anything is because hmm oh i dunno it's shit you fucking fantasize about and i know you couldn't care less ohhhh

 yeah lets watch virgin Mary riding a tator tot !! Great idea Delta !

Life./

She lived with her unhappiness and pitied

 herself until several incidents happened that made

 her realize that she was not the only kid who did

 not have a perfect life. She also found that others

 had dreams and perhaps by forgetting herself and

 helping someone else, she might find real

 happiness.

Even though it's probably my fault things ended the way they did, it still hurts. I wish I could just go back to those times before you snapped, and at least tried to have fixed you

 There's not enough cigarettes in the world to help with whatever this is

 Yay more scarsss

 I'm just doomed hmmm

She hates when her feelings are invalidated, so she likely had her feelings dismissed and or invalidated often during adolescence. Likely ties to her mentality that people have worse problems than her....